I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
