He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
