Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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