Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
