Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
