I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
