Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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