I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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