nut hugger
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
