I just cut my nipple shaving
i think i have two assholes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm bleeding and have questions
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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