I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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