it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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