I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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