i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
