dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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