How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
