Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
