What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
