left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
