I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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