I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
