I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
