They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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