That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
