How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
