You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
