You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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