just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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