walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
