My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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