Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
