I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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