I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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