There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
