I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize