please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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