and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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