I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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