Your mouth is God's brothel.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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