And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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