If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
