No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
