just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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