I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
