I wish I could punch you in the face.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
