hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
