its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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