no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
