my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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