arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
