No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
