Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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