she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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