p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
