Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
