My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
