you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
