I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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