Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
