this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
