what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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