no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
