she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old