Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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