your room smells of hookers.
And success
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
